A Monster's Tale -Director's Cut-
by Erybis
Summary: A man escapes, bent on finding a better life for him and his sister. Happening upon a small town and it's school, the people he meets there change his life forever. A fic of mine I decided to rewrite. I have decided to change the story subtly in small parts, but towards the end, it will not be the same as it's first version.
1. A New Home

**Author's Note**

**So. We're back here again. For the readers that experienced my story the first time around, you must be wondering why I decided to rewrite this.**

**Well, even though I poured a lot of love into this work, I realized that many parts were strange. It was a Frankenstein of chapters, where most were different from the others. A bit messy.**

**So I realized, I needed to patch it all up again. Plus, I needed to tell it all quite better.**

**Without further ado, here is "A Monster's Tale", Director's Cut. Oh, and don't forget to review. I honestly need reviews to function, at this point. It can be a review that completely blasts my story, as long at it has some basis in logic.**

* * *

_"We never see other people anyway, only the monsters we make of them."_

_-Colson Whitehead_

-1 year ago-

The stars winked at me, beautiful in their apathetic state. The heavens bled moonlight, and I reached out, wishing for that hand to grasp my own. My fingers met glass, though, nothing more. My only family was in my bed, in a state between sleep and terror. The door slammed, the sound of rage echoing throughout the house. I felt my sister clutching at me, her trembling almost uncontrollable.

"Shugosha! Where are you, sweetie!?"

I could feel myself starting to shake, but I steeled my nerves, becoming an anchor for Hitomi. I wrapped my arms around her, and buried her face into the soft, ragged cloth of my shirt. Mother entered my room, leering at us, fire-poker gripped tightly in hand.

"How pathetic. Why aren't you at work, sweetie? We need the money, you little shit."

I opened my mouth, felt my throat tighten, and stammered out a response.

"I-I-I got f-fired. It's m-my fault. P-please, just b-beat me. L-Leave h-her out of it. Please...!"

Mother was stone-faced, and she stared, her eyes piercing my own. I felt the shakes coming on, and my shirt began to feel wet.

"But that's no fun, is it? You need a little more incentive, after all. See, I know you can take the beatings. The one way to make you FUCKING understand is by showing you the consequences of screwing around."

My breathing stopped for a moment, and my arms tightened around Hitomi, as the shakes became even more intense. My sister's tears were streaming down my shirt, warm and filled with pain.

"Please, M-Mother! D-Don't do this again. I'll get another j-job, I swear!"

Mother gave me a short, bitter laugh. She rocked on her feet, her ire impairing her self control.

"Give me the damn girl. You need to learn. Right now."

I broke, streams running down my face. The shakes reached their peak, and Hitomi shoved me away, standing up. I curled up, watching her, reaching out, grasping at nothing like always. I whispered futile pleas, but inside, I surrendered.

"D-Don't. P-P-Please!"

Mother raised a fist, and the assault began. I wanted to close my eyes. I wanted to run away. But I just watched, yet another piece of me withering into nothing.

* * *

-Present Day-

Hitomi was excited, bouncing in her spot on my shoulders. I grinned, overjoyed by the happiness that was evident in her entire being. It was two months since we escaped from our home. Mother was out of our lives, hopefully forever. I remembered the long journey, going without food for so many days, living in alleys, cardboard boxes, abandoned houses, anything that allowed us some shelter. After finally finding that dorm, we found a new home, with a couple conditions, of course. The dorm mother, a woman by the name of Misae Sagara, gave us only one rule.

"Only students can stay here. Period. If you want a room, you better be enrolling in the local school."

I agreed, as long as she acted as our guardian, at least for the enrollment. Hitomi wouldn't go to school, no matter what I said, so I decided to bring her with me. Drop her off at the library or something.

"Well, Hitomi, we made it."

She continued her excited bouncing, hugging my head tightly. She caught a few of the falling cherry blossoms around us, placing them in my black hair. The hill we were climbing began to level out, and I caught sight of the school.

"We're here. Alright, Hitomi, listen."

I placed her down in front of me, crouching to look her in the eye.

"I need to sneak you in there. You're eight years old, so the staff might get a bit weird about you being here. You gotta stay behind me. Ok?"

Hitomi nodded, beaming. I pecked her on the forehead, and took her hand, walking around the school. Everyone seemed to be in class, so for the moment, we were safe.

"Thanks, Big Sis!"

A guy leaped out of one of the open windows, landing a couple meters away. He sprinted away, a delighted expression on his face.

"What the hell?"

I took the chance to get closer to the building, eying the window that he jumped out from. It wasn't that high, easy to get to.

"Alright, Hitomi. We're going to get in through there."

She squeezed my hand in response, and I picked her up, holding her up to the windowsill. She pulled herself up, and I did the same.

"Well, who might you two be?"

A girl in an apron gave us a friendly, warm smile, watching us enter through the window. I saw a slight pause as she noticed the scars on my face.

"I'm a new student. Do you know where the library is?"

She tilted her head, curious, but she gave me directions nonetheless. I thanked her, and Hitomi and I slipped out into the hall, making our way to our destination as quietly as possible. We finally reached the entrance, and the door was slightly open.

"Ok, Hitomi. You know to hide, right?"

She gave me a nod, her gentle face glowing. We went inside, and I found a nearly empty room, with the exception of a blue haired girl, sitting on the floor and reading. I approached her, cautious.

"Hi, uh, could you keep an eye on my little sister while you're here?"

The blue haired girl ignored me, her eyes darting back and forth at an incredible speed while she read.

"I guess she's really concentrated."

Hitomi was already settled in, finding a good hiding spot. She took out the books that she brought with her, and gave me a grin.

"Are you gonna be ok here, by yourself?"

Thumbs up. I guess she'll be fine. Closing the door, I retraced my steps back to the room with the girl in the apron.

"Hey, where's Class 3-E?"

She told me where to go, and I thanked her for the last time. 5 minutes later, I stood outside my classroom, taking deep breathes.

"It's ok, man. They won't care about the scars. This is a new beginning. A new start. You can do this."

I slid open the door, taking my first step inside. Everyone turned their head, and small, suppressed screams sounded, while several of the students turned pale. The teacher flinched, and scrambled backwards. I tried to give them a reassuring smile, but that frightened several of them even more.

"Uh... I'm a new student. Starting today. My name's Shugosha Miyano."

It took a moment for that to register, and then the class relaxed considerably. The fear was still there. I guess I had Mother to thank for that. The teacher made his way toward me, with a small amount of caution.

"Ah, I was told about you. I didn't expect you to be so...-"

"Damaged? Don't worry, I get that a lot."

He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. My height might also be a factor in the intimidation, now that I think about it.

"Well, to get you started, sit behind the class representative. She'll help you get around, and settle in."

He gestured to a girl with long purple hair, in the first row. She was noticeably the only one that didn't look afraid of me. If anything, her grimace told me that I annoyed her.

"Uh, thanks."

I walked over, and momentarily stared at the small chair, bewildered by its size.

"Aren't you gonna sit down, Miyano?"

The girl gave me a heated glare, waiting for me to comply. I plopped down, and listened to the rest of the class. I started to get sleepy, but I fought hard to stay awake. Time passed, and lunch period began, and the girl in front of me turned, trying to look nice.

"Well, I guess it's time to show you around, right?"

* * *

We walked down the hallway, and students kept a large distance from me, walking around us. I couldn't help but feel a little bad. I focused on the girl in front of me, surprised by her bravery. Of everyone I met here, she wasn't scared. It interested me.

"What's your name?"

The girl stopped, giving me a quizzical look, answering anyway.

"Kyou Fujibayashi."

"Why weren't you scared?"

Kyou faced me, and I think she finally saw me completely. A 17 year old boy, 1.93 meters tall, scarred visage, thick build. But she didn't show fear, she didn't back down. She looked me in the eye, and answered my question.

"I'm not afraid of someone pathetic enough to hurt himself. If you're looking for people to be afraid of you, or feel sorry for you, then you're looking in the wrong place."

She spun on her heel and continued her brisk pace, and I followed, at a loss as to what to feel. But ever so slowly, a grin came onto my face. I like her.

"So how much is food, here?"

I felt my stomach rumbling, but the only thing on my mind was how hungry my sister must be. Kyou uttered a tired sigh, knowing she needed to reply.

"About 400 yen for a decent meal. Cheaper to bring something from home, though."

I kept that in mind, making calculations and budgets for the rest of the week. We didn't have enough for the rest of the week, relying on school prices, so I need to take a trip for groceries.

"Fujibayashi? Can we make a detour to the library?"

"Why?"

"Please. I need to."

My tone softened her expression, and she gave me another sigh, making her way to the library.

"Fujibayashi, can you keep a secret?"

Frown. She was silent for a moment, considering it.

"I guess, as long as its not something huge. Or illegal."

For the first time, I caught a small smile, meant to ease my jitters. Responding in kind, I opened the door to the library, scanning for anyone. The only person visible was that same blue haired girl, but I ignored her.

"Hitomi! Where are you?"

My stage whisper pierced the silence of the library, and I heard the small pitter patter of my little sister's footsteps. She came into view, practically running into my arms.

"Hey, bookworm. You hungry?"

She nodded, a jovial gleam in her eye. Kyou pushed past me, excited.

"Is that your little sister? She's so cute! What is she doing here?"

I hugged Hitomi tight, trying to hide her under my school blazer.

"Well, she doesn't talk. At all. She won't go to school without me, so I'm planning on hiding her here."

Kyou's face became gentle, and she gave me a small laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"You're not what I thought you'd be."

I blushed, embarrassed by her observation. My mind focused on the task at hand, leaving behind idle chat. I recalled the girl in the apron, wondering if she was there still. I had to take care of Hitomi, after all. A few minutes later, we arrived, but she wasn't there. My stomach growled, enraged by the denial of sustenance.

"Hey. If you're that hungry, I'll pay for you."

Kyou's demeanor was much kinder, despite her initial disposition toward me. But I denied her, on principle.

"Uh, that wasn't me. That's my little sister. She's very hungry. Could you buy something for her?"

Kyou looked confused, but she gave me a sky smile.

"Sure. Your sister is the one who's hungry."

I let out a nervous chuckle, and put Hitomi down in apron girl's room.

"Stay here, I'll be back quickly. I'm just going to get you some food."

She nodded, and I closed the door, after I made sure she was comfortable. I turned to Kyou, dead serious.

"Do not tell anyone about this. Anyone. Please."

My gruffness put her off, and she looked offended.

"Why would I do that? I mean, she's not going to hurt anyone."

I was relieved to hear that from her. Maybe I could trust at least someone, here.

"Come on. Let's get food."

* * *

I held a sandwich in my hand, Hitomi's lunch. Kyou was still tailing me, showing me the different places on campus. We were walking back to the old building, after I decided to see some of the outside.

"Hey, Miyano. Why'd you do that to yourself?"

I opened my mouth to tell her that it was none of her business, but the words got caught in my throat.

"Kyou, I nev-"

A loud rumble filled the air, and something shot past me, tugging at my hand. It took me a few seconds to realize that Hitomi's sandwich was snatched out of my hand.

"HEY!"

I stopped thinking, instead devoting all my focus onto the pursuit of the thief. He was on a motorcycle, though, and I was already starting to have trouble breathing. I pushed on, feeling my chest burn like wildfire. I chased him all the way to the field, where another friend was waiting for him. A crowd was gathering, and a silver haired girl confronted the two bikers.

"Get out of here, or you'll get hurt."

One of the bikers yelled something incoherent, and they charged her. My legs started running on their own, and I crossed half of the distance when it was over. The bikers were in a heap on the ground, twitching in pain. The girl was unharmed, by some strange miracle. There were cheers behind me, but the girl didn't turn around. I began slowing my pace, and when I reached her, she swung an impossibly fast kick at the person behind her, which happened to be me.

"Fuck!"

My chest imploded, and I fell to my knees, wheezing. The girl looked ready to fight, but after she recognized my uniform, her eyes widened.

"Oh, hey, I'm sorry."

She reached down to help me up, but I was stricken by a coughing fit. I felt something come up, and I tasted the bitter, metallic taste of blood.

"Just... just go. Away."

I rose to my feet, wiping off what I coughed up on my jacket.

"Is that blood?"

"Does it matter to you?"

"Of course it does."

I ignored her, making my way to the thief who stole Hitomi's food. He glared at me, defiant even when beaten to a pulp.

"Give me the sandwich."

"No."

I grabbed him by his leather jacket, lifting him up.

"Don't make me hurt you."

His defiance withered, and the sandwich dropped from his hand. I threw him back with his friend, picking up what was mine. Turning, I realized I was being watched. Faces stared at me, with expressions of confusion and fear. It was a natural reaction, one that I always expected.

"Miyano!"

Kyou was running toward me, and at that moment, the world tilted. My chest locked up, and I fought to stay standing. I tried to force air down into my single lung, but it wouldn't take. Far away, I heard loud and excited voices, and someone called my name. But before I could answer, the sky turned black.


	2. Tears of a Beast

_"Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks."_

_-Issac Watts_

The dark released me, and light slipped in, through cracks of vision. I fully opened my eyes, and the trees around me were dancing, swaying back and forth. Cherry blossoms were cascading through the air, falling toward me.

"He's awake!"

I looked around, seeing students around me. I realized I was being carried, and I started to squirm.

"Let.. go...!"

"Shugosha!"

I was abruptly dropped, and an explosion of pain resonated from my head hitting the ground. Kyou crouched down, an expression laced with anger, annoyance, and worry.

"Why didn't you tell me something was wrong with you!? I'm in charge of helping you today, you idiot. Whadya think would happen to me if you died!?"

I was speechless, and my damn stutter came back, one I'd hoped eradicated.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sor-rr-y."

She looked further confused, and the anger left. One of the students spoke up, his tone almost like a scolding parent.

"Jeez, Kyou. He coughed up blood and passed out, and you yell at him when he wakes up? Take it easy, will you?"

Kyou blushed, turning around and retaliating.

"Shut up, Tomoya! It was his fault for not telling me about his issue in the first place!"

I got up, slowly, startling my company. Almost instantly, I went into another fit of coughing, fighting to get breath again. That guy Tomoya stepped forward, his hand on my shoulder.

"Let's get you to the nurse."

I brushed his hand away, regaining my composure. Making sure I still had my sandwich in my pocket, I began walking in the direction of the library.

"No thanks. You guys can go now."

"Shugosha, jeez!"

Kyou turned to Tomoya, waving, and caught up with me.

"Where are you going? We need to get you help!"

"No. I'm fine, it's something I've had since I was 12. I'll be fine."

She punched me on the shoulder, hard.

"You moron, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I only have one lung."

Silence. That shut her up, pretty quickly. I didn't like pity, though. Made me feel weak, and I've worked hard for my strength.

"It's ok, though. I mean, I've had a lot of time to adjust. The coughing up blood thing is normal, it's just me making up for the exercise that I missed out on when I was recovering. That was the hardest I've ever run, to be honest."

Still more silence. I was starting to feel uncomfortable, but luckily, we were at apron girl's room. I slid the door open, scanning the room for Hitomi, and was greeted to the sight of her sitting at the table, chowing down. Apron girl had her back turned, cooking something that smelled delicious.

"Hitomi, it looks like you found something to eat."

Hitomi glanced up, cheeks turning red. She nodded vigorously, going back to her meal.

"Oh, hello there."

Apron girl turned, giving me a warm smile.

"I found your sister here, reading a book on spells. Her stomach was growling, so I made something for her. I'm Yukine Miyazawa, by the way."

I bowed, grateful for her kindness.

"Thank you. My name is Shugosha Miyano, and my sister is Hitomi. I'm sorry that she didn't tell you herself, but she doesn't talk."

"Oh, I don't mind. I thought that was the case. Regardless, she seems like a nice girl."

Yukine's cooking made my mouth water, and I found myself drooling. Kyou shoved me aside, appearing at Yukine's side.

"That smells so good! You mind if I have a bite?"

"No, go ahead."

While Kyou was busy, I sat down with Hitomi, watching her eat. This place could be a real home for us. I mean, looking at Hitomi, I saw her at her most happy in her entire life. This was bliss.

* * *

The day was finally ending. Kyou left my side at the end of lunch, saying that I didn't need any help, now. Walking home, I felt at ease, something I hadn't experienced ever.

"Hitomi, you have to go to school sooner or later, you know."

Hitomi yanked at my hair from her perch, giving me her answer.

"Ok, ok. But you're so smart, you're really wasting potential."

The dorms came into view, and I slipped inside, to end up confronting a scene out of a comedy manga.

"HELP ME TOMOYA!"

A blonde boy was getting pummeled by a group of rugby players. I almost stepped in, until a familiar voice rang out.

"QUIIIIIEEEEETTT!"

Misae Sagara charged down the hall, scattering the rugby players in all directions as they escaped her wrath. The blonde boy was a mess, sprawled out on the floor. Misae stopped, letting out a sigh of frustration.

"Those kids."

"Thank you so much, Misae."

The blonde boy hugged her leg, looking overjoyed.

"Oh shut up, Sunohara. You probably brought that on yourself."

She shook him off, and someone I didn't see walked over, shaking his head.

"He probably did, Miss Sagara. But you should be way more violent with these guys."

"You think so?"

The student, Tomoya if I remember correctly, gave her a thumbs up.

"Definitely. It'll get them to respect you way more."

I stepped forward, feeling anxious.

"Uh, Miss Sagara? Our room?"

She finally noticed me, her eyes widening.

"Oh, hey Shugosha. I'll be with you in one moment."

She turned back to Tomoya, sending him and his friend off. I met Tomoya's eyes for one moment, and I could see a flash of recognition.

"You ok, now?"

"Yeah. Thanks for trying to carry me to the nurse's office."

He gave me a short laugh, a bit exasperated.

"Well, try is a pretty good word. You're pretty heavy, so I don't think we would've succeeded. I never got your name, by the way."

"Shugosha Miyano. And your's?"

"Tomoya Okazaki. See you later."

I waved, taking him in. He seemed like a nice guy. I went back to Misae, ready to collapse into a bed. Her eyes were narrowed in an inquisitive manner.

"What's this about the nurse's office?"

"Nothing, nothing, don't worry about it. So where do we sleep?"

She hesitated, but shrugged, letting it go.

"Well, we're kinda full up, at the moment, so you're going to stay in my room for a little while. As long as you stay decent and don't try anything funny, we'll get along just fine. Got it?"

I nodded, my neck stiff from Hitomi clinging to it. I put her down, sliding my hand over her's.

"That ok with you, Hitomi?"

She looked wary, not about to trust a stranger. Misae leaned down, putting on the kindest face she could.

"It's ok, Hitomi. Nothing will happen. I promise."

She held out a pinky, and after moment's pause, Hitomi completed the gesture, hooking her own pinkie with Misae's.

"That's settled. I'll show you where you'll be sleeping."

Walking down the hall, I listened to the building breathe. I could hear a strange pounding and screaming, similar to the blonde boy's voice. I chose to ignore, focusing on Misae. She was quite beautiful, and I wondered how old she really was. I knew I couldn't ask, though. We reached her room, and she invited us inside, waving us in.

"Sorry if it seems small. I would give you guys your own room, but like I said, we're kinda full up."

"Still, you didn't have to let us stay with you."

She shrugged, her tone taking on a note of pity.

"You guys are basically homeless, though. Actually, speaking of that..."

She faced me, dead serious.

"I want to know why you ran way from your home. I almost called the police to come and sort you up, but to actually run and try and find a new place to live suggests that you have a better reason."

I looked down at Hitomi, who's eyelids were drooping.

"Let me put Hitomi to bed. Then I'll tell you.

I tucked Hitomi in, making sure she was nice and snug. She wrapped her arms around me, that action alone making me realize how vulnerable and innocent she truly was.

"We're safe here, Hitomi. Don't worry. We'll make a new life, and we'll become happy."

I kissed her on the forehead, and she responded in kind, pecking my cheek.

"I love you, Hitomi. Good night."

She waved, and I closed the door to her room, sliding it as quietly as possible. Misae was waiting for me with a strange look on her face.

"What?"

She giggled, a strange sound for a woman like her.

"You're a very good brother, Shugosha. In this day and age, I don't see that often."

I grinned, slightly embarrassed.

"Alright, whatever. So. Ask me anything you like."

We sat at the table, and she stopped talking, deep in thought. Finally, she straightened up.

"Who gave you those scars?"

I hesitated, taken aback by her directness. It was something I didn't like talking about it.

"I... well, my mother, she... sh-she...-"

I cleared my throat, and I started to scratch at my face, a nervous habit of mine.

"She d-did it."

I swallowed down my emotions, avoiding Misae's eyes.

"I see. I didn't expect that."

I let out a bitter chuckle, and I could feel my fear trying to take hold.

"Yeah, well. Neither did I. But one morning, I woke up to find her on top of me, trying to... trying to do THAT."

I looked at my hands, and I realized I was clenching them so tight that my knuckles had gone white. I relaxed, letting out a sigh.

"Do you think I could try and tell you small pieces each night? I don't think I could tell you everything. I'd lose control."

She nodded, and she put her hand on mine, giving me a reassuring smile.

"Shugosha, I can tell that you had a good reason for running away. I'm not going to report two kids trying to carve out their own home in the world."

Misae stood up, and when I did as well, she pulled me into an embrace.

"Everyone deserves to be happy. Including you."

I nodded, and I could feel something wet on my face. I pulled back, feeling vulnerable.

"I'm sleepy."

I avoided her eyes, turning around and heading to my room.

"Good night, Shugosha."

Why did she make me feel this way? So angry, in so many ways.

"Good night, Ms. Sagara."

I shut down my mind, letting my body get me in bed, and I finally drifted off, into a distant memory.

* * *

-5 years ago-

The sensation of warmth was dancing across my face, and like lightening, agony struck, as my eyes shot open, taking in my mother. I howled, clutching at my face. My hands were wrenched aside, and I was treated to the site of Mother's devilish, maniacal grin.

"Sweetie, I need to do this! I need to help you. So you don't look like HIM."

The knife that she held in her left hand glinted, and she swung it I'm an arc, accompanied by another explosion of pain.

"STOP IT, PLEASE!"

She shook her head, tears streaming down.

"If I do this, you won't look like him! I'm. Doing. This. For. Your. Own. Good."

Every word was punctuated by another slice, and my face was burning, my vision turning red. No longer there, no longer anywhere. I wanted Dad to help me. I wanted my Dad.

"It won't go away. It won't GO AWAY!"

She was screaming her head off, clutching at her own face, smearing it in crimson. My arms hung limp, my entire body writhing with fire dripping into every part of my body. I was gasping, my chest constricted.

"I JUST WANTED TO FIX YOU!"


	3. A Mind Barely Standing

**Author's Note**

**Thanks Benny, you really kicked me out of a funk.**

**It IS summer, and after overcoming a very powerful depression, I guess I can continue. Small chapter though, made to flesh out some aspects of the story for the heavy stuff later on. Enjoy.**

* * *

_The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding._

_-Albert Camus_

That week went by slow. Kyou stopped walking with me at lunch, instead deciding to chase that friend of her's, Tomoya. Must have a crush on him. With that, it was up to me to find a spot to hang out in at lunch. But that was easier said than done.

"Hey, you! Scary person!"

The loud voice of a little girl rang out from behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder. It was a first year, pointing directly at me. She strode toward me, and I sped up my pace, hoping to put distance between me and her.

"Don't run! I have something to give you!"

She sounded deranged to me, chasing me around. I broke into a sprint, turning the corner and running into the first room I saw. I hugged the wall inside, holding my breath.

"Ugh, that scary guy got away. Why did he have to be so fast?"

I began to see stars, and I slumped against the wall, feeling like a marionette cut from its strings. But the first year didn't hear, and I heard her footsteps fade, until the sound disappeared all together.

"That was close."

I recovered, choosing that moment to study my surroundings. The room was filled with boxes and costumes, and looked like it hadn't been occupied for years. I found a chair amidst it all, a throne prop, and sat down, getting comfy.

"I guess I found my spot."

I leaned on one of the armrests, resting my head upon my fist, feeling the tendrils of sleep worm their way into my head.

"Is someone here?"

I heard the door open, and I braced myself for another student. It was a third year, this time, a timid looking girl, followed by Tomoya. I stayed completely still, shutting my eyes to hide from them. I didn't feel like talking to people today.

"Hello?"

"There's no one here, Furukawa."

The door shut, and they left, finally letting me relax.

"Geez, I'm hiding from everyone today."

"FOUND YOU!"

I got startled, shooting out of my seat and into a pile of boxes. The first year from before hovered over me, frowning.

"You can't run from me, scary person. Now, take this!"

She shoved a wooden carving into my hand, and at that moment, the door slid open, with the two visitors from before standing in the doorway.

"I knew someone was in here!"

What I'd wish to be asleep right now.

* * *

"So you were in here too?"

I nodded, disinterested in their interrogation, instead wondering where the first year disappeared off to. But Furukawa looked overjoyed, her face shining.

"Does that mean you want to join the Drama Club too?"

I wondered what I had gotten myself into.

"If I say yes, will you let me stay here?"

Furukawa looked oblivious, but I caught a smirk from Tomoya.

"Uh, well, yeah. I mean, this IS our room, so yes, you'd be allowed to stay here."

Consequences be damned, then, it took me a while to find this spot, so I might as well join.

"Sure."

I could see Furukawa's excitement, barely contained as she almost leapt for joy.

"Perfect! We now have a third member!"

Tomoya held up a finger to interject, but put it down. Probably didn't want to spoil her fun. I walked out with them, lagging behind so I wasn't included in their conversation. Listening for awhile, I learned of the issue. Furukawa wanted to start up a Drama Club, seeing as the last one dissipated from lack of interest. Tomoya was helping her out, but I couldn't discern his reason why.

"Miyano!"

I snapped out of my trance, and my companions were giving me a strange look, with a hint of concern.

"We were just wondering how we could advertise with the Student Council barring us from doing anything."

I didn't care, really, but looking at their faces, I gave in.

"Well, have you thought of just telling people? I mean, it's not like they can gag you."

Furukawa blushed, looking at her feet. I guess that plan wasn't going to work. Tomoya affirmed this with his response.

"Furukawa is a bit shy with people in general. That's not going to work."

I let out a yawn and stretched, feeling my chest loosen up from the run.

"Listen, I gotta go. I kinda have something to do."

I said my goodbyes, and started toward the library. I needed to check on Hitomi.

* * *

I found her hiding under a desk, reading an encyclopedia, of all things. I sat down on the floor beside her, crossing my legs.

"How are you doing, sweetie?"

She looked up, giving me a small wave and a big smile. I pulled out the sandwich I had taken from home for her, placing it on her lap. Hitomi tore into it, and I watched, a little bit hungry myself. As if on cue, she offered my a bite, but I waved her off, content with letting her have the whole thing.

"She's a fast reader. Almost as fast as me."

I turned to the source of the new voice, and saw the blue haired girl, finally looking up from her book. The moment she saw me, though, her expression shifted, from gentle to terrified.

"A-are you a monster?"

"Monster?"

She was moving away from me, her body nearly rigid with fear. I was speechless, my mind a blank. I fumbled for words, my damn stutter coming back.

"W-why would I b-be a m-monster?"

I grit my teeth, scratching at my scars. I was losing control, right in front of this girl. I pointed at her, about to say something, but the words weren't there. The blue haired girl was beginning to regain her composure, and she looked less afraid. But I didn't care. I couldn't stay there, couldn't be in that room.

"Hitomi. I'll see you in a few hours."

* * *

"Monster. Freak. Mutt."

The whispers were back.

"No, no, no, this wasn't supposed to happen. I need Hitomi. Where's Hitomi?"

The walls began to shift in color, turning blue. Blue like the night, stained in crimson. I could feel my breathing becoming more haggard, and it grew harder to stand. Students turned into demons, and the school became more and more hellish. I had to get out. Hide.

"What's wrong with that guy?"

"He looks so scary. Stay away."

"Something's definitely wrong with him."

I slid a hand on the wall, feeling for a door. For what seemed like ages, I only had the smooth walls to touch, until I felt a latch. I threw myself inside, closing the door behind me. The room I was in was marked with those colors, but it was dark and barren, looking like it had been neglected for years.

"Stop it! She's not here. She's not here. Hitomi is. Hitomi is safe, and Mother's not here."

I could feel my mind collapsing inward, and the whispers grew louder, a din of voices screaming and laughing.

"Take care of your *pathetic* sister."

"I'M TRYING TO HELP *bastard* YOU!"

"-love you-"

I crumpled onto the floor, shivering and melting into nothing. In spite of the voices, I kept my mantra alive in my mind, repeating it over and over to remind myself.

"Nothing's real but her. Nothing's real but her."

* * *

Getting home that day was just a temporary reprieve, for me. I waited until Hitomi was asleep, and snuck out. I had to work, after all. When I got to this town, I found a night job at a convenience store. It usually went from 8 to 4 in the morning. If Hitomi knew, she'd be worried sick, so I couldn't tell her. All I did was retail, anyway. Or manned the cash register. But as easy as the job was, I hated it. Sleep was my only escape from the visions.

"Hey, I remember you."

The girl with the silver hair from my first day at school stood in the doorway, bewildered at the sight of me.

"You coughed up blood after I kicked you. Are you okay?"

I was just as surprised as she was, more so from her concern than her appearance. But I didn't accept her sympathy.

"It doesn't matter. My problems are my own. I don't need your pity."

My hostility knocked her off balance, and she became defensive.

"I didn't kick you on purpose, you know. You just... surprised me."

I felt slightly guilty, but I stayed strong, waving off her comments.

"Are you here to buy something?"

Her eyes lingered on me, and after what seemed like an eternity, she broke it off, walking to the freezers in the back. I ignored her, going back to my staring contest with the store window. That was when I noticed a kid, about my age, standing there. He was looking into the store, past me, at the only other person inside. I sighed, cursing the girl under my breath, and started toward the door.

"Hey, get out of here."

The kid finally noticed me, fear overtaking him. He stood his ground though, foolhardy as he was.

"You can't tell me what to do! I have business with that girl inside, and I don't need some freak to get involved."

I rolled my eyes, patience wearing thin. I took a step forward out the door, and he backed up almost in unison.

"Last warning. Go away, if you know what's good for you."

The boy's resolve finally broke, and I watched him run away as fast as possible, wryly noting that he could have a future in track.

"You didn't have to do that, you know. I could've just given him the fight he wanted."

The girl was behind me, hands on hips, looking amused. I continued to ignore her, heading back to my spot behind the counter. She started to become frustrated.

"Listen, I said I was sorry, ok? It was an accident. What do you want from me?"

I thought about it, briefly considering a number of things. After deciding, I grinned, and she turned a bit pale.

"How about a fight? A fair one. I don't hit girls, but it would be fun with you, I guess."

It was her turn to let out a sigh and shake her head in disbelief, but she met my gaze and nodded.

"Fine. But no hard feelings, regardless of the winner?"

"Sure."


	4. Purpose in Limbo

_"When you love you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve."_

_-Ernest Hemingway_

The bruises were obvious to anyone looking, but they were worn with pride. My black eye could've been smaller, though. When I got home from my night job, Misae was waiting, and she freaked out when she saw me.

"What the hell did you do?!"

In hindsight, smiling was a bad idea, especially when my teeth were stained red. She then proceeded to lecture me on how stupid I was being, and how I didn't need to work. But I argued with her there, telling her that I needed to work, because it was hard enough relying on someone for a place to sleep. An hour of discussion later, and I was able to get in bed at 3. Waking up early was difficult, but I was bound by my promise to the victor the night before.

"Since I won, you have to come to class on time. No excuses."

That girl was an amazing fighter. I haven't ever fought anyone like her.

"Miyano, what happened to your face?"

I was dragged out of my inner thoughts by a bewildered Kyou, mouth almost completely agape. I chuckled, holding my hands up in surrender, just in case she got mad.

"I got into a fight, that's all. And I asked for it, too."

"Did you fight with Tomoyo Sakagami?"

I was confused, the name unknown to me.

"Who?"

Kyou punched me on the shoulder hard, looking disappointed.

"Second year, headband, silver hair? She kicked you on the first day of school."

She was a second year? I laughed without thinking, finding the fact funny.

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

Kyou's face grew placid, and I realized that this was her at her most furious.

"She's the only other person with a bandage on her face. I'm going to kill her."

I grabbed Kyou's arm, in hopes that I could calm her down from going on a violent rampage.

"No, no, it's ok! I asked to fight her, it's not her fault."

"But she made you cough up blood! And now she's beaten you to a pulp!"

A slight exaggeration.

"I already told you that the blood came from overexertion, not her. Come on, Fujibiyashi. Please don't start anything."

Kyou huffed in anger, but she relaxed. A slight pout appeared on her face, and she turned to me, shaking her head.

"You're kinda pathetic for such a big, scary looking guy. You shouldn't let so many people use you like a doormat."

I jumped up from my desk, puffing out my chest and posed heroically, in mock fashion.

"You got me. I'm the most pathetic, cowardly person of all time!"

She smiled in spite of herself, and I responded in kind.

"You should smile more, Fujibayashi. Don't be such a sourpuss."

"Yeah, yeah. It's kinda hard to do that when I have to deal with people like YOU. An you're not even the worst."

She grimaced, probably thinking of the people she was talking about.

"So are you eating by yourself for lunch?"

I watched Kyou carefully, looking for any sign of being flustered.

"Well, I usually eat with my twin sister, but these days, she's brought a friend as well."

Her pupils dilated slightly, and I snickered. Not a concrete sign, but it did show some degree of anxiety. Could be minuscule, could be nothing.

"Who's the friend?"

"Just this guy, Tomoya Okazaki."

I heard a note of... something. It was hard to decipher. Oh well.

"Have fun, then. And don't forget to smile."

I ran off, not before seeing Kyou blush for the first time since I met her. She was too easy sometimes.

* * *

I spotted the timid leader of drama club, sitting alone in the courtyard, nibbling at a sandwich.

"Furukawa, right?"

She looked up, startled. She really had the disposition of a mouse.

"Oh! I'm sorry, you scared me."

"I have a tendency to do that. Comes with the look."

She looked uncomfortable, squirming around in her spot. Her gaze rested on the ground for a moment, and she struggled to meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get your full name."

"Shugosha Miyano. And you?"

"Nagisa Furukawa."

I stood there, feeling more and more awkward as time passed. I looked at our surroundings, looking for someone I knew. That's when it hit me, something to talk about.

"Where's your friend? Tomoya, was it?"

I knew the answer, but I was curious about what she was told.

"He said that he needed to eat lunch with Fujibayashi twins."

No lies, I guess. That says something good, at the very least.

"Well, don't you have anyone else to eat with? I mean, aren't you friends with the twins as well?"

Furukawa seemed to try and burrow into her uniform, shrinking away.

"I don't really have any other friends, and sometimes I should give the ones I have some space."

I tried not to laugh, to keep from hurting her feelings. I sat down beside her, rather abruptly.

"You're too selfless. Or, you're in an extreme state of denial. I mean, you've got people willing to be your friends. You can't just sit here and keep quiet. You gotta grab ahold of those opportunities."

My thoughts turned to Hitomi, and I let out a sigh.

"There are some people that can't even talk to others, whether it be by fear or medical reasons. You can't be here, squandering what ya got."

"You're not the first person to talk to me about this stuff."

I glanced over, seeing Furukawa slowly open up.

"Okazaki talked to me about this stuff, and gave me similar advice."

"Then follow it! Honestly, Tomoya sounds like he knows what he's talking about. You should listen to him."

I gave her the biggest grin I could manage, trying to inspire her in some fashion. I think I did it right, but at the same time, I could just be snarling. Furukawa stood up, regardless, looking empowered. Or maybe just frightened, I couldn't tell.

"Ok. I'll go look for Okazaki!"

I watched her jog away, her strange, shy gait comical in a way.

"Might as well go spend the rest of my time with Hitomi."

Deep down, I felt a sense of fulfillment. Maybe I can help other people aside from Hitomi, as well.

* * *

"I'm ready for another question."

Hitomi was sound asleep in her bed, and I was fully composed, prepared for any inquiry Misae had for me. I could tell she was nervous, possibly because of the way this went last time.

"Ok. Why doesn't Hitomi talk?"

"I think it's because she tries to be strong."

My mouth was dry, and I took a sip from the water Misae had given me beforehand.

"You see, our mother was a fiend when it came to punishment. After I was big enough to defend myself, she switched to beating Hitomi instead, to keep control over me."

I focused on keeping my breathing regular, steeling myself for residual emotion.

"I, uh, believe that Hitomi became mute just to try and be more stoic. She did't me to see her crying and in pain, and she definitely wanted to show my mother some semblance of defiance."

I forced myself not to look at Misae, in an effort to stay calm. I could hear her, nonetheless.

"She's a strong little girl."

That triggered me, and I raised my head, proud of my purpose.

"Hitomi's my life! I would so anything for her. I mean, my life is already messed up in more ways than one, so I'm determined to make sure she doesn't end up like me. I want her to be successful, to rise above our past, and-"

"Don't say that."

I was stopped in my tracks, my mind drawing a blank. Misae had fire in her eyes, and she looked furious.

"I understand that you love your sister. But you are not some sort of lost cause."

She leaned forward, grasping my attention even more.

"You think your little sister would agree with this plan? What, are you going to leave her alone to her 'successful' life?"

I flinched, crumbling under her glare.

"I... I don't know. No. I won't leave her alone if she needs me."

Misae grabbed my shoulders, pulling me close.

"You are BOTH going to rise above your past. For Hitomi, and for yourself. I don't want to hear talk again about giving up on yourself. Or Hitomi will know about it. Got me?"

I nodded, silent. She dragged me over to a nearby mirror, forcing me to face it.

"What do you see?"

I stared deep into the mess of scars and mangled features, and I saw a freak.

"Monster. Beast. That's what I see."

"You know what I see? I see a man who's lived through hardship and survived. I see a man who anyone would be lucky to have as an older brother. And finally, I see a man who's just as human as anyone else."

Misae spun me around to face her, adamant in her beliefs.

"If you quit, then your mother wins. Do you want that?"

"I... I...-"

"Will you let her win?"

"No."

* * *

That night, I lay in my futon, staring up at the ceiling, in the same way I did so many years ago, on that night. In the end, I made my way to the bathroom, in front of the mirror. I took a closer look at the man in the mirror.

"I'm ugly, there's no doubt about that. These scars won't let me be look any better, after all."

I absentmindedly reached toward my reflection, wondering what the face would look like without my mother's 'gifts'. Would I look like my father?

"I don't even know what he looks like."

I wandered throughout the apartment, debating in my mind whether I could go to work so late.

"I already called in late; It's not like the boss would be happy knowing I was lying in the first place."

I settled down beside Hitomi, running my fingers through her hair, brushing it down. She looked so fragile, but happy. I preferred it this way, her happiness being all I needed.

"Sweetie, you have no idea how much I love you. I know Ms. Sagara doesn't like it, but I'm really ok with giving up on my life if it means that you can be happy."

If Hitomi finds her way in life, than my mother will lose. Me, I don't matter.

"Besides. The life of Shugosha Miyano ended 7 years ago. I'm just trying to fulfill my father's wishes, now"


	5. Fall

_"Guilt is anger directed at ourselves - at what we did or did not do. Resentment is anger directed at others - at what they did or did not do."_

_-Peter McWilliams_

-for everything-

-give me-

"Agh!"

I was bleary eyed and disheveled when I sat up, and I caught my teacher's attention. He viewed me with contempt.

"Have we disturbed you, Miyano? I'm so very sorry. Hopefully you can get some more sleep."

I heard smatterings of laughter, and out of the corner of my eye, I could see Kyou make a face. Of what emotion, I wasn't sure, but I could only guess it was something like disappointment. I cleared my throat, nervous.

"No, sir. I'm sorry, I'll stay awake."

"Hmph."

The teacher returned to his lecture, and I zoned out completely, ripped towards thoughts of Hitomi. She had come down with a cold, and stayed home with Ms. Sagara. I should pick up some medicine on my way home. I snuck a glance at my wallet, letting out a sigh of resignation. Looks like I won't be eating today.

"Shugosha Miyano!"

I snapped out of my trance, focused on the source of the voice. I spotted a teacher at the door, a look of worry on her face. I instantly shot up, thinking of the worst.

"You have a phone call. Come with me to the office to answer it."

I hurried out, the silence ending as soon as I set foot outside the classroom. Did something happen to Hitomi? If she got hurt, I just don't know what I would do...!

"Here."

The woman passed me the phone, and I raised it to my ear.

"Shugosha? It's Kyohei."

I exhaled, relieved. At the same time, I felt apprehensive. I responded, not entirely at ease.

"It's been a while, Uncle. How's the family?"

I heard a chuckle, brief static over the line.

"They're fine. What about you? Are you and Hitomi doing ok?"

"We're good."

He paused, and I knew what was coming.

"Listen. I know you wanted us to let you and Hitomi live on your own, but I think you should try to see her."

"No."

The same exasperated sigh I heard so frequently made an appearance, and I struggled to retain my composure.

"I know what she did was wrong, but she's making progress. I think she truly feels remorse. And after all, she's your moth-"

"NO, SHE'S NOT!"

Teachers watching in the background moved away, but I didn't care. How dare he ask that I try and talk to that bitch! I could feel my chest start to tighten, and I forced myself to take deep breathes.

"Shugosha. I'm sorry, ok? I know I shouldn't be asking you to do this. If I had known what was going on all this time, I would've intervened sooner. Maybe give the relationship a better chance to heal. But no matter what she did, you have to find some closure. You can't keep running away."

I rested my face in my palms, tired. I didn't want to see her. I couldn't see her, or I'd lose control.

"Uncle, I can't. If I even saw her ever again, I don't know what I'd do. You can't understand even if you tried."

I knew Uncle was at the end of his rope. Letting us live in this town, alone, without money, with just his aid in entering the local school. I owed him for everything.

"Well, ok then, Shugosha. But I'll just say this. She's getting out soon. And she might come to see you."

I snapped, shutting the phone down, an audible snap filling the air. Mother, coming here?! No, no, no no no no. She can't, that... that demon can't come here! I stormed out, the world melting before my eyes. I can't take this anymore! I was safe, Hitomi was safe. Now she'll just...!

"Damn it!"

The bell rang, the normally soothing tones contorted into hellish growls. The hallway flooded with aberrations, grunting in their awful voices. One ran toward me, and I felt terror at its sight. I had to get away, I couldn't stay.

"ShugoSHA. DOn't RUn."

Agh, it's speech hurt my head so much! I ran as fast as possible, heading down the most empty hallways. The creature followed, desperate in its pursuit, still making those horrible noises.I couldn't take it anymore. I turned, getting ready to swing.

"SHUGOsha, what's WROn-"

My fist connected with it's maw, and the resulting sound cut through my nightmare. It was a scream, a familiar voice. My heart stopped, as I realized who I'd just hurt.

"Kyou...?"

The colors of the world shifted into their normal shades, and I saw Kyou on the ground, shocked senseless, a bruise beginning to form on her cheek.

"Kyou, I didn't mean to."

I stepped forward, and she slid backwards, that same look in her eye that so many gave me. Fear.

"No. No."

I did bad. I hurt... her.

"NO!"

I let go of myself, and let my body do the running. Bathroom, I ran to a bathroom. There! Right in front of me, was the monster that hurt Kyou. His eyes were leaking, streams running down ugly valleys and crevices. Punishment, hurt, that's what he deserved.

"You hurt Kyou... You hurt the first friend I ever made... I'LL KILL YOU!"

I raised my hand, shaped like a ball, and shot it forward, watching the face break. I saw it bleed, too, and felt relieved. The monster was getting punished, yes. I felt fire on my hand, but it didn't matter. I had to kill this dragon. I had to!

"Why?! Why did you do it?! Why'd you hurt her?!"

The dragon didn't say anything, just broke, broke into hundreds of pieces, as I kept beating it. I felt darkness begin to overtake me, and I fell backwards, into solace.

* * *

_-5 years ago-_

I was in bed, looking out the window, when my sister, who was beside, tugged at my arm.

"Brother? Why does Mommy hit us?"

I looked over at my little sister's face, so innocent, yet so pained. I ran my fingers through her hair, brushing it out of her eyes, and gave her a sad smile.

"Mommy's broken, Hitomi. She's sad, inside."

"But why? And why does she hit you the most?"

Hitomi's small hand reached out, feeling my scars. Her face screwed up, looking like she was going to cry.

"Is it because of me? Is it because I'm still small?"

I hugged her tight, shaking my head.

"No, sweetheart. It's because I look like Daddy. It's not your fault. It'll never be your fault."

She sobbed, wrapping her small arms around me, shivering.

"But why won't she stop? You're not Daddy! So why do you have to get hit?"

I put my hand on her head, holding her close.

"Shhhhh, now. You need to get your sleep. Don't worry about me. I can take it. I'm the strongest brother in the world."

I hummed a tune, a lullaby. I could hear Hitomi's sobs become softer, and her breathing slowed. I dried her eyes with my shirt, making sure to rub softly. The lullaby always helped her sleep. It used to do that for me, too, once upon a time. I guess Mother ruined it for me, though. She taught it to me, after all.


End file.
